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Alessandra
Essa.Les.
Apathetic (in a way). Insomniac. Fascinated by brujeria. Epitomizes procrastination. Hopes for the best, expects the worst. Cynical. Empathetic. Introvert. Obstructionist. Inconspicuous. Imaginative. Ambiguous. Passive-Aggressive.


Melancholic. Pessimist. Eloquent. Critical. Dense. Euphuist. Loquacious. Pompous. Shrewd. Walking Paradox.

The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.
- The Curious Incident of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon (Christopher)

**
When it comes down to it,
I let them think what they want.
If they care enough to bother with what I do,
then I'm already better than them anyways.
- Marilyn Monroe

**
I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.
- Audrey Hepburn

**
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

**
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
- Jane Austen

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Another Tragic Case

I can't help how I feel.

Have you ever felt like you're being cornered into a trap? It might not be the worst thing that'll happen, but you still are being forced against your will. And you struggle - you hold on for dear life, but... your damn best just wasn't good enough? You try to not take it too seriously, you try to shrug it off, to be optimistic - to be HAPPY - but you know that you will never ever feel whole because a part of you went astray with the very reason you're feeling this way.

I shouldn't take these kinds of things to fucking seriously. I need to ready myself for more shiz to come. I need to put on battle gear and stay at the edge. This is one battle I swear to myself that I will not lose. I won't. I can't - I can't afford to lose this one. Not now, not ever. Not after everything. Stay strong, they tell me. How can I? This voice inside my head won't leave me alone. After constantly complaining about people always leave, WHY WON'T THIS ONE JUST BUZZ OFF?

Is it just me or is the silence defeaning? As I sit here and type my little fingers and thoughts away, I hear nothing but the typing of the keyboards and I feel like there's a ringing... a ringing growing louder and louder evolving into a voice that I can't shake off, so to speak. My mind is opposing... On one ear, a whispering dawns... It's telling me to stop. Just stop. To give up. To surrender. The other is is telling me to hold on. Just... a.. little... longer. I need to stop this. I need to feel. Why can't I feel? Why in heaven's name can't I feel...? I'm growing numb. Is this the effect?

I can feel the tears... They're about to fall... I can't be this way. I can no longer be this way.

If I died today, would there be anything you'd want to say? (To everyone else, don't mind me. I'm an emo-kid. Forgive. This is just for that one person. Lovelove♥)

Everyday, 6 teenagers commit suicide. Don't be the cause.

Paying tribute to queen b's and wanna-be's

I just finished watching, for the 9th time -- one of my favorite teen flicks, the box office hit Mean Girls. I don't know why, probably because it's awfully boring tonight, but I got to thinking: Hell, this is reality. This happens in real life. Why?

Kids nowadays are affected solely by the media. We are given the definition of "beautiful". Beautiful means being rich, having a hott body, gorgeous looks, bad personality, girls who worship them and boytoys/ man-candy. The option of being smart and classy is out of the question. So now, all of these girls are just trying to be "beautiful"... 'cause in high school, if you're anything else, you just won't survive.

I read an article about a 14 year old girl who was beaten to death by 7 girls and 1 boy. [source]

The Victim
Reena Virk was a girl who came from a large extended family who had emigrated to Canada from India. Her family was considered a minority within a minority, as they were of the Jehovah's Witness religion while the rest of the family remained Hindu.

At the beginning of her adolescence, Virk had become estranged from her family. She began to rebel against her immediate family and their strict religious beliefs. After allegations surfaced that she may have been sexually abused in her home, Virk had been placed in foster care, and also lived with various relatives. She was sometimes described in the media as a girl caught between two cultures.

Virk has also been described in the media as a girl who was desperate for acceptance amongst her peers, but because of her body size and physical appearance, she was considered by some standards unattractive and was either teased or ostracized by others in her age group. It is believed that in her efforts to "fit in", she began to identify and associate with "street youth" and gang values and culture. She is said to have begun to smoke, drink and experiment with drugs and sex.

The Crime
On the evening of Friday November 14th, 1997, Reena Virk was allegedly invited to "party" at a location used for gatherings of teenagers near the Craigflower Bridge, which is located west of the city of Victoria. Virk, who had already been having difficulty fitting in with her schoolmates, decided to accept the invitation.

While at the bridge, it is claimed that teenagers talked amongst themselves, drank, and smoked marijuana. Allegedly, Virk was swarmed upon by eight adolescents, seven girls and one boy. Witnesses said that one of the girls stubbed out a cigarette on Virk's forehead, and that while seven or eight others stood by and watched, Virk was repeatedly hit, punched and kicked. She was found to have several cigarette burns on her skin, and apparently it was attempted to set her hair on fire. The fight ended when one of the girls told the others to stop. Virk managed to walk away, but was followed by two members of the original group, Kelly Ellard and Warren Glowatski. The pair dragged Virk back under the bridge, made her remove her shoes and jacket, and beat her a second time. It was alleged that Ellard forced Virk's head under the water and held it there with her foot until Virk stopped struggling. Warren and Kelly left the crime scene without speaking a word.

Despite an alleged pact amongst the people involved not to "rat each other out", by the following Monday, rumors of the alleged murder spread throughout Shoreline Secondary School, where Virk was a student. Several students and teachers had heard the rumors, but no one came forward to report it to the police. The rumors were confirmed eight days later, on November 22, 1997, when police divers found Virk's partially clothed body washed ashore at the Gorge Inlet, a major waterway on Vancouver Island.

The coroner ruled the death was by drowning. However, an autopsy later revealed that Virk had sustained several fractures, and that the head injuries were severe enough to have killed her if she had not been drowned. Virk was 14 years old at the time of her death.

This murder became front page news that shocked many Canadians. There was a nationwide outpouring of sympathy and grief, along with calls to educate students about preventing youth violence. Despite well-publicized news reports of the increase in girl against girl bullying and violence in the US and the UK, many people still continue to mistakenly believe the stereotypes that girls are less capable of committing acts of bullyism and violence than boys.

Possible Motives

• Contrary to popular belief, racism likely did not play a role in the murder. It is generally assumed that just because Ellard and Glowatski were white, that the others were as well. This is not the case; roughly half of the eight attackers were non-white.
  
• A book about the case, "Under the Bridge", written by Rebecca Godfrey, was released September 20, 2005. The book details some of the motives that may have led to Reena's death. Two of the girls convicted in the initial beating allege that Reena stole one of the girl's phone book and started calling her friends and spreading vicious rumors about her. That girl stubbed her cigarette on Virk's forehead. The other girl was angry with Virk for stealing her boyfriend. Virk who once lived with the two girls in a youth group home may have done those things, in order to assert herself as a "tough girl".[1]
  
• The book also reveals Virk was initially considered a runaway when her mother first reported her missing to the RCMP. Two Russian sisters, who lived in the youth group home were prompted to call the police upon hearing that Virk was most likely dead.

Can you imagine? Everyday, you're sending your children to their own demise simply by sending them to school. You never know what goes on inside of the minds of the youth today. This new generation has been poisoned by the belief that bad is beautiful. Smoking, drugs, alcohol, sex, you name it MOST have done it! Every year, the age of kids who get into sexual relationships lowers its bar. During the 50's, you'd be considered a whore if you show even the slightest bit of skin about the knees and below the collar bone. Now, you wear that and you'd be teased a nun! Girls today shed clothing as if the next girl does it, because she most likely does.

"We're still so young and desperate for attention"

HEATHERS, JAW BREAKER, MEAN GIRLS -- 3 of the many examples of why teenagers think this wya.

I'm not saying that teens should stop watching movies or television. Heck, I enjoy watching these kinds of movies. I'm just saying that MAYBE the actors and actresses should watch what they say. Bulimia, Anorexia, Drugs, and other eating disorders. A lot of girls have these so-called diseases and they force it upon themselves because they want to look like those girls on tv. Those girls aren't real; they aren't as perfect as they make themselves seem. Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

WHEN CAN WE GRASP THE CONCEPT?

I'd like to tell today's youth that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably come across small minded people who think they're better than you. People who think that material things or being pretty or popular automatically make you a worthwhile human being. I'd like to tell today's youth that none of these things matter. They don't define you, unless you let them. So don't ever sell out. When you meet a person for the first time, don't judge them by their station in life. 'Cause who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend.

Like me, like you

Change is the only constant thing. I firmly believe in that. But, change doesn't happen overnight. Change is a slow progression in which we must work hard for. Yes, some things change so naturally and carelessly but, there are some changes we need to be careful of. Changes in ourselves. I'm a pathological center-of-attention. I crave for it. Even when I hide beneath all of the things I want no one to see, which is most of the time, I crave for the need of them wanting to know this and that about me. It's true. Because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be so... outspoken. Yeah, I think that's the right term. I'm different. A misfit, they would often categorize me. It didn't bother me much, though. Maybe because secretly, subconsciously, inside... I wanted people to notice me. Yes, I am REALLY different. I do think I can change the world somehow. But take note that not because I may have opened my eyes to the possibility -- or better yet, realization -- that I want people to see me as a person who is full of wisdom, I am being a poser, because all of my views don't change. What I said, when I said it, and how I said it is how I feel about that certain topic. I stand firm on all of my opinions. Let's just call this moment of clarity/ temporary insanity (I have yet to figure out which one it is) "expanding my horizons"

I've always been boyish in a way that I find the company of guys more comfortable than the company of girls. And no, not because I am a flirt. It's just that... when I'm with "the guys", I can wear sweats, not wear make-up, and have my hair a mess and they just WOULDN'T care. I could perform in pig-out contests with the guys by eating 10 more (hypothetically speaking, of course) pizzas than they can in half the time they can. Basically, I can be myself. I can be a slob... because I am. But that doesn't mean that I don't maintain myself well. It just means that I don't always have to look like those supermodels. And when I'm with the girls, I'm instantly labelled as "high-maintenance", "picky", "slutty", and the pottymouth words can just go on and on and on... Even when you're with your OWN friends, you get judged. They judge you by what you're wearing, by what you eat, and God knows what more! Yes, I do enjoy getting dressed up and all that but I don't have to look like Tara Reid when I watch the game with the boys. I don't have to modulate my voice and giggle demurely even when I'm dying to burst out laughing. Plus, the conversations? They're killing me! Who the hell talks about what shade of eyeshadow you're using? Or what brand of lipgloss? They're just so shallow! Oh, and the slander and double speak. They just can't stop the backbiting. Sometimes, I want to talk about sensible things... not just boys or gossip or what's the latest trend or what's the hottest clothing store; I wanna talk about books... or life... or love... or theories regarding whatever... or movies... or music... or opinions regarding everything... or politics... or poverty. I wanna talk about things that matter. Other times, I wanna talk about "the big game" because yes, I do love watching basketball. I just love the game.

Girls are just condescending - it's true. And I'm not being a sexist to my own gender because 1.) That would be awfully hypocritical of me 2.) I am straight so that would mean calling myself patronizing and 3.) I do believe that there are other girls who are independent. After all, girls can do anything guys can do.

And majority of the times, girls are degrading their own sex. Showing to the world that she needs a man to survive is just cheap. Cheap and stupid. Take for example, Nina of the Teenage Edition of the highly publicized, over-rated, hit tv show Pinoy Big Brother. She was so dependent on her male housemates that a lot of the girls (and those guys who see past her pretty yet annoying face and get irritated by her countless shouts for help. She is not your typical damsel-in-distress) nominated her for eviction. So today, as I was getting ready to go to OB this morning at 6:30a, I turned the news on (In some parts of the world, it's cool to know what's happening. Maybe not just in contempo-casual) and lo and behold, look who greets me: Nina's BIG face. She says that she got hurt that she got evicted from the House and even more so when she found out that a lot of people find her maarte

"What's wrong with being maarte? I'm maarte. I'm just being myself. That's me eh!" says Nina.

What's wrong with being maarte? Absolutely nothing! Except that it INSULTS the feminine gender. We are all being labelled as that for your sake? I think not! You imply that we need men to survive. And okay, maybe we do. But in a romantic sense - not because you can't freaking fold the cotdamn clothes by yourself.

Those are the kind of things we need to change about ourselves. We all know that it's not going to be easy... in fact, it's going to be very hard. You've been that way your whole life and now you have to make a dramatic change. So I hope you'll understand if the process takes quite a while for me to change as well. I won't judge you and I hope you won't judge me too.

You know, changing yourself isn't easy... but it helps when people let you try.

Goo day everyone,
change well. (: