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Alessandra
Essa.Les.
Apathetic (in a way). Insomniac. Fascinated by brujeria. Epitomizes procrastination. Hopes for the best, expects the worst. Cynical. Empathetic. Introvert. Obstructionist. Inconspicuous. Imaginative. Ambiguous. Passive-Aggressive.


Melancholic. Pessimist. Eloquent. Critical. Dense. Euphuist. Loquacious. Pompous. Shrewd. Walking Paradox.

The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.
- The Curious Incident of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon (Christopher)

**
When it comes down to it,
I let them think what they want.
If they care enough to bother with what I do,
then I'm already better than them anyways.
- Marilyn Monroe

**
I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.
- Audrey Hepburn

**
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

**
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
- Jane Austen

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you know WHO and WHAT made my day?

gine made my day

and this made my day:

Essa, you rock. =)

You always see the things people usually miss. You always see the things that we really feel, but never express. Ang galing mo talaga. You completely described it. Wow.. It IS possible. And you know what.. i'll continue believing what you said. If that's true.. omg!! Life would be such a wonderful place to live in.

People enter our lives for a reason. I. Am. So. Lucky. =)

It made me smile (: My life may be full of pain and misery, but i am blessed with good people <3

Gine, you rock too!

You always seem to face the music. You are a good person who never fails to express whats in her mind and heart. I put you atop a pedestal for that (: With you, nothing is ever amiss.

"People enter our lives for a reason. I. Am. So. Lucky. =)"- i couldn't have agreed more (: i too, am a lucky person <3

**

I spent the whole day sleeping, watching tv and eating :D pffff, bum.

**

Vivo and eric are in a fight with Jt, Calvin, and Kim. Cge, mag angas angasan muna kayo.

**

Ang cute ni ally! tinakot ni ate jae ts, bad. haha. takot si ally dun sa emperors new groove na poster na malaki. haha, kawawa itsura :p ang cute.

**

ay pucha may nag fi-feeling. Nag-aadd ng mga tao na di kilala sa friendster...porket gwapo! haha, kala mo di ko sha kilala noh? PFT, sabi ni **** di ka daw nya kilala...ang babaw mo naman. pathetic.

BASKETBALL NEWS

1st place - Argentina
2nd place- Italy
3rd place - USA

shit. sayang america. ganda pa naman ng build ng team nila. Na tanggal kasi center at capt. ball nila (Tim Duncan, 13-us team, 21 san antonio spurs) nun laban against argentina. SAYANG.

Friday was ok. It was überly boring. PFT, i made 900 pesos, OWYEHMEN. Me and dad made a deal. He'd buy me a dvd player pero half kami. ERR, no thanks. sabi ko next week nalang. I LOST MY VOICE CAUSE OF THE SWAP MEET. malas. Me, dad, and kuya jap watched "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement" ang ganda ni anne hathawayat ang hott ni chris pine *drool* shit. haha. (: It wasn't that fun cause I was supposedly gonna watch it the same night with kate and maria. PFT, di ako pinayagan. an loser.

I spent the whole saturday afternoon sleeping and bonding (nux naman) with ate blu, kuya jc , ally and drei :D we baked brownies and 2 large oatmeal & raisin cookies for me (: as ally would say, DELISYOSO. haha, I finished reading "ERAGON: Inheritance" yesterday. LUPET MAN, talo nya lord of the rings and harry potter! SOBRA GANDA. Its like hp and lotr mixed together (: and just some quick facts on the writter: Christopher Paolini was 15 when he worked on eragon. He is now 19 and at work on "ERAGON: book 2 of inheritance, eldest". You can find more about Christopher, Eragon and Inheritance at http://www.algaesia.com/. STIG, sobra. Im now reading "Singled Out" by Trisha Ashley. Hm, i wonder if its a good book. Speaking of which, Im turning into a big big BIBLIOPHILE. I've finished reading 10 books in 7 days. NUX, haha. bookworm alert :P

ANYWAYS, Ive devoted all my time (not just free, tsktsk bad girl. kaya napapahamak sa school eh! may sariling mundo. PFT, nagbabasa ng wala sa subject) to reading. It is now my love. SHIT, making music, listening to music, watching movies, skateboarding, html, drinking coffee, coke, pizza, pasta, BASKETBALL, writing poems, quotes, songs, novels and such, reading and writing are what occupies my time now. hm, loser :D

**
To Love is to give your all and expect nothing in return. To hurt is to feel the pangs and thorns of a rose and feel like your world has ended. To be loved is to recieve the love you have lost and more.
-havoc

I didn't go to school today. para masaya. haha ;p Told dad I was sick.

hmmm, I spewnt the whole day sleeping. Lab0, weird dream :D anyways, we watched the ateneo-lasalle game nun sunday... talo ateneo. Ok lang, they did a great job. (: Tenorio was awesome!

GRABE, pft im out. nothing more to say :D

AI, owyea, yesterday was awesome :D

**
The Posession of anything begins in the mind.
-Bruce Lee

I met Lalaine today. ahaha, am i jologs? ;p she's über sweet and really nice... And pretty!

Check this

ahah :D

BTW, Lui asked me if I knew people from Ateneo and I was like "I'm an atenista by heart. Ofcourse, I know atenistas...Why do you ask?" and she said "Kasi I have a friend, sikat daw barkada nyo sa ateneo.." and I was like "WTF?! what barkada? madami akong barkada..." she said the one from OB and I was like "ah... friend mo? na di ko kilala? pano nya ko kilala...? ah I don't care na nga lang..." tas I walked away. Lui followed me and said "Well, they're looking for a PRETTY girl... Ok lang ba if you're their muse?" and I was like "hah, me? pretty...? as if, pare! bulag kaibigan mo *laugh*" Lui just stared and asked "They also wanna meet you..." I turned back and said "They?" she just said "Yup! I'll be there din naman eh! Please? You owe me a favor, diba!" I was thinking "FRIGGIN BLACKMAILER!" and just said "Fine...when and where?" and she hugged me. KADIRI, jologs. haha.

My date went great! haha, diba bianx, diba checa? haha! yeah, except for these lousy guys who distracted us the whole night! asswipes. PFT. We have another date! next week! movie date ulit. YIPEE, hot chix, pare! haha. Im kidding :D we're gonna watch princess diaries 2 next week. YAY, haha. babaw (: I dressed up after class na kagad (which, btw, was awesome! WOOHOO, haha! no teachers kami the whole day! NATULOG AKO! YEH MEN. haha, tas pinicturan namin si *toot* nang tulog! ahaha! good thing the cell we used was mine! *phew* haha!) then me and bianx went to area first (: then checa, then my sister and kuya jc, my brother and gelo and ALAS! the perfect date:D it would've been better with kate and maria though ):

Haha, wala cocc trianing today... yun mga officers namin asa spiritual retreat nila sa tagaytay... pati io namin ginawan ko ng palanca...ahahaha!

Im talking to cam and eric ngyun...tignan mo toh... haha

(status ni eric "alessandra, pakikilala ko sayo si HANS")

rock_es01: oi
eric cua: hahaha
rock_es01: haha
rock_es01: na dc
rock_es01: sorry
rock_es01: bat alessandra?
rock_es01: ako ba yan?
eric cua: ay hindi
eric cua: gs2 mo ma mit c hans?
eric cua: gs2 mo ma mit c hans?
rock_es01: kahit anu
eric cua: oh tlga?
rock_es01: kahit anu nga
eric cua: han-s-am
eric cua: hahahahahaha
eric cua: jowk lng
rock_es01: sin0 yun alessandra yan?
eric cua: hahahahaha
eric cua: secret
rock_es01: ay tangina nyo
eric cua: hahahahaha
eric cua: ngayon mo lng na gets?
rock_es01: sumbong kita kay maria eh!
eric cua: hahahaha
eric cua: slow!
eric cua: hahaha
eric cua: jowk lng po
eric cua: hahahha
eric cua: ok lng
rock_es01: ahahahaha
eric cua: sori esssssssss
rock_es01: di ko na gets
eric cua: lab u
rock_es01: ahahaha
eric cua: hahahaha
rock_es01: ahahahahahah
rock_es01: ulul
eric cua: lab u sorry po!
rock_es01: kun ako man yang alessandra na yan tanggalin mo naman oh
rock_es01: ahahaha
rock_es01: san mo nakuha first name ko, hah?
rock_es01: na dc
rock_es01: sorry
rock_es01: ahaha
eric cua: ayyyyyyy
eric cua: wat ya doin?
rock_es01: wala
rock_es01: ahaha
rock_es01: ikaw?
rock_es01: uy
rock_es01: anung album yun song ng parokya na pinakikinggan mo?
eric cua: parokya
eric cua: bigotilyo maganda dun, alumni homecoming and chikinini at burgudunstunstuystugudunstuy maganda dun, sayang, sampip and harana
eric cua: hahahaha
eric cua: y?
eric cua: w8
eric cua: bigay ko sayo lyrics
rock_es01: ahahah ok
eric cua: SAMPIP Some people love shoes of certain kinds Some people love afternoons or the way the moon shines And they have their own reasons To feel the way they do That's why I ask myself what it is with youIs there something wrong with the way speak You don't even see me When I pass you on the street! I'll close my eyes and let it be Because I just can't see Why you love to hate me eric cua: Some people love weekends Because they can fool around Some people love thunderstorms Because of how the drops of rain fall down And they have their own reasons Whatever they may be That's why I think it's kind of funny That you don't have one for me eric cua: And it sucks to face the truth That I ain't got no more reasons too Whenever asked the simple question Why I feel the way I do And I know its stupid on my part To say that I love you Even though I know you hate me And you don't know why you do Is there something wrong with the way speak You don't even see me When I pass you on the street! I'll close my eyes and let it be Because I just can't see Why you love to hate me x2
rock_es01: meron ako bigotilyo at... gulong itlog gulong
rock_es01: maganda nga alumni homecoming
eric cua: astig sampip
eric cua: alumni xempre!
eric cua: at bakit pa ba pinabayaan na mawala ng hindi inaasahan parang nasayang lng nawala lng! wala ng nagawa!
eric cua: yun ba?
eric cua: hahahhaha
eric cua: adik ako sa mga ganyan eh
rock_es01: ahhaahah
rock_es01: oi
rock_es01: bat sabi ni vivo ksma mo daw si maria?
eric cua: i2 essa, cno nga pala crush mo? kuya ni maria or yung dio watever? after a few months at hindi ka pa nila nililigawan? i2 ang magiging fav song nila
eric cua: w8 lng
eric cua: kanina
rock_es01: dio whatever ka dyan!
eric cua: SAYANG Sayang! Bakit hindi kita niligawan? Ngayon ako'y nanghihinayang! Kasi naman, tatanga-tanga pa ako noon! Walang humpay ng paghintay sa hindi Dumarating na pagkakataon Lagi naman kitang nakakasama Ewan ko kung bakit ba wala akong nagagawa! Lahit na napakadali mong kausapin Ewan ko ba kung bakit ang hirap pa ring aminin Madalas naman tayong naglolokohan Dinadaan ko lang sa biro ang tunay kong nararamdaman Kaya siguro hindi mo sineryoso ang aking mga sinabi 'Yan tuloy walang nangyari Kakalipas lamang ng isang sem Nung Makita kita na mayroon ibang kasama! Magkahawak ang inyong mga kamay! Ang dibdib ko ay sumikip! Ang paglunok ko ay naipit! Aking napatunayan na nasa huli ang pagsisisi! Para bang gusto kong umiyak, Ngunit para saan pa? Wala namang magagawa!
eric cua: d ko kasi alam spell eh
rock_es01: dio ortigas
eric cua: basta yan basahin mo
eric cua: astig ng mga names, manuel, jobert, araneta, arevalo, ayala, ortigas, makati ang aastig ng mga names!eric cua: hahahahhaa
eric cua: manuel jobert? MJ ASTIGGGGGGGG
eric cua: basta read the lyrics
eric cua: astig
rock_es01: ahahah ang ganda ah!
rock_es01: wait, alam ko yan ah!
eric cua: xempre
rock_es01: ang astig nun intro ng bigotillo
rock_es01: ahahahahaha
rock_es01: im listening to it
eric cua: hi dish ish gilbert magat or bla bla tom tom alarcon....
eric cua: hahhaeric cua: yun ba?
rock_es01: oo


ahahaha, lab u, tol! ahahah :P

sige sige, au revoir

**
Fallen leaves return to their roots

answers.

*how'd you do this thingee questionee.
ay uhm... here

*u know, i really don't understand why u cuss all the time..
uh, is that so...? well, iono. I just do. Uh, I'll try to prevent cussing then.

*kweshun hir
ai, uhm...ayos!

*kweshun hir
uhm, isa pa toh eh.

AI, before I forget, yun corps commander namin nahuli nag checheat ni mrs.duran sa music. tsktsk, i think he's gonna be replaced by either sir. delmendo or ma'am. batulan. yun lng :D ahaha, cge bukas na ko ulit mag blog. I have to go and fix my stuff for my date with Bianx and Checa ;p ahaha (: ULUL. the trio :D

**
"Live life with a soundtrack"
-Blu Pamandanan

tangina i missed my blog ): fackers. takas pa talaga ito eh. argh.

exams namin saa phys. ed at math bukas. sisiw ;p haha. lupet, pare! yabang

anyways, I finished reading "Angels and Demons", "Th e Rescue", "Message in a bottle", "a bend in the road", "the notebook", "the bachelor", "the playboy", "diary of a mad-mother-to-be", "diary of a mad-bride", and "the man who ate the 747" in 6 days! hanep! ahahah from friday to wednesday ;p WOW, unbelievable. Im such a bookworm ;p and Im gonna buy 2 more of Carly Phillipps' books tomorrow, "the heartbreaker" & "under the boardwalk"

Anyways, exams are turning out fine. Well, better than expected :D

RECSP

Monday: exams in english, food tech., and computer. PFT, easy-peasy tests :D

Tuesday: History, values ed and l.t. Values Ed. was all essays. that was 8 essays :D it took long, but it was easy to answer.

Wednesday: -today- Science, Filipino and Music. Science was LONNNNNNG. 14 pages back-to-back. shit! haha. filipino was easy too. BUT MUSIC WAS TOO EASY! im confident i perfected it ;p haha

BTW, a friend of xxx's asked for my cel# earlier today. Kim said he's been nagging him for 3 weeks now. WOW, asa ;p hahaah. btw, carlos says hi! *waves*

yay, im gonna watch a movie on friday with bianca (date ko, pare! ahahah), jphn, calvin, anton, maria and so on ;p parang, to celebrate end ng exams. di kami kasi nakapag gimik ):


anyways, i have to go. My friggin sister is gon use the net. ciao! *POOF*

**
"It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop."
-Confucius

my stupid sister tripped on the computer wire and all the work ive done is now reduced to 0. fuck. and i didn't even get to save my blogs or my projects and shit. aww, this annoys the hell out of me. I guess i'd have to rant and rant and rant the whooooooolllle time im online and you wouldnt hear nothing from me.

DAMN

WEEK RECAP:

g tests the whole week
*report everyday for cocc

monday: sir dela pena was absent so sir capistrano took over (: yay, mr. capistrano is too cool :D

tuesday - wednesday: had our filipino reports. PERFECT GRAD EON THE IBONG ADARNA! haha, bob0 ;p

thursday: we had to endure 40 squat thrusts while singing happy birthday to our xo.

friday: performed solo for music! 25 ako ;p ahaha! 2nd highest. LUPET, PARE!

saturday: cocc training, we had our removal exam. and as self-centered as it may sound, IM SURE I PASSED. haha ;p lalang. sisiw eh! we trained under the pouring rain and the heat of the sun at 7:45a til 12p. hayup!lufet noh?! we ate at mcdo after. tas we went to my bish prends haws.

so iyun. it is my week. fucking hectic.

**
You will see a lot of things,
But they will mean nothing to you
If you lose sight of the one you love.
---AT FIRST SIGHT

exams are next next week. ugh. long tests for the past 2 weeks and one more week! shit.... school's piling up. fuckers.

PLUS, my gay-ass values ed teacher gave us a 1000 word essay to be done in 15 minutes. HELLO?! get real. and Ms. Milante gave us book reports on "ang ibong adarna" to be submitted on monday...

ANYWAYS, I was with shar and nikko yesterday. *waves* oh, and brittney too. too bad i didn't get to go out with them.... ): I miss those people... speaking of which, i was supposed to be with chris today but his party has been cancelled.[aww, i miss you chirs! happy beerday :D] we were supposed to be with cla gaia and all.

Last night was awesome :D haha, sira ulo talaga akouh. I was with kuya jap and richard yesterday. nuff said. haha.

ANYWAYS, i gotta go finish my book report, and anton, jayvee, calvin, darrel, etc. their palancas. . im out! *poof*

**
"if two people are meant for each other, it doesnt mean that they are meant for each other NOW."
-Pacey Whitter, Dwson's Creek

I've been staring in mid-air for exactly 15 minutes now... Not finding the exact words to say.

For the past few months ive been in a great state of depression and i've been keeping it all inside of me, thankfully, i've found someone who gives me the time i need... Yup, carla's friend [and now one of my TWO confidantes!], gine ! *smile* *waves*

Have you ever felt like you've been taken for granted? Like you're sincerity and goodness has been abused? Like nothing or no one has ever truly cared about you? Today at school, my mind dwelled on my problems, and i just couldn't help but cry... I realized that for 13 years, no one has truly taken the time to understand me... That no one has really, TRULY, believed in me. No one has Faith in me, and no one thinks that I am worth the time. And believe me, I have every intention of proving them wrong. I have every intention of proving to myself and to others who didn't have faith in me that i can do it, I can reach it. No one actually really found out the damaged it hat inflicted on me. I guess that's the reason why I hide behind my books, my computer, my music and a mask. I never really feel like I could truly be accepted as myself. I am a closet poet, bookworm, author, journalist, writter and psychiatrist. I am and forever more will be the girl who has not a care in the world, the girl who hides from the "popular" kids in school, the girl who doesn't eat during lunch and snacks at school just so she can hide from people, the girl who is inconspicuous and has a low-profile, the introverted girl who excludes herself from everyone else, the girl who just wants to be left alone, and the girl with a broken smile. *sigh* Can't I just be myself? Can't I just be a little more extroverted? Will people finally listen to what I have to say? Will people finally give me the time to explain?

It's hard, specially when people expect too much from you. When they think you're mature and wise. And when they think that you'll understand it all... I'm only human, i commit mistakes too... I can't always be humane...

**
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.
-Seth, City of Angels

wow...today im in a real state of shock...im not really gonna state it here cause ofcourse, i do need privacy.

wow...i really can't get it out of my head... shit... uh... my head is spinning right now... im just shocked... shit, i cant stop mentioning it. ARGH.

RECAP

[]got to school just in time.
[]FOOD TECH LECT.

>had a quiz
>discussed some shit i didnt listen to
>had some drill shIts. haha. (sheets)

[]Math.

>reviewed fractions
>studied for our exams. damn, fuckshit.

[]Snacks.

>headed to 4-a for cocc duties

[]Computer.

>edited some stuff on the pc...im the only one who got a perfect grade :D
>got "sermons" from my bitchy teacher

[]Lunch.

>spent most of my time talking to kuya big

[]Phys Ed.

>physical training :x 22 LAPS AROUND THE QUAD. FUCK. XD

YUP. pretty much what happened today.... i gotta keep this very... short. so. ciao!

**
Im standing under a cloud of regret...
- Ethan Hawke, Reality Bytes

Saturday:

I woke up at 6. Got to school before 7 *I WASNT LATE FOR COCC!! :D* and has a good time! We took down notes and did drills, and we had some informal talk with our X-O. It was actually fun! and our Platoon leader for the day was c/ srgt. lt. Jocson P. *shit! di ko memorize! AHHHHHHHHHH* anyways, i got stood up by maryrose AGAIN. shit, im starting to think i can't trust her anymore *sigh* oh well. Anyways, i ate at mikki d's with ate j and her F-R-I-E-N-D-S. *im starting to think i don't really have friends... WELL ANYWAYS, we got back home at 12 and I SLEPT RIGHT AWAY... for 8 hours...

Sunday: i didn't do anything. I just woke up :/


//EDIT

*COCC ka?? woah. nice.. ^_^
yup (:

EDIT//

**
without suffering, there'd be no compassion....
-Mandy Moore, A Walk to Remember