Thursday, July 29, 2004
School today was awesome! It was nice (:
what happened? ahh...we had 2 or 3 quizzes, I think. We studied new topics
TO-DO-LIST
[]study[/]
Ok, that's it :D
Anyways, me and drei were talking about the perennial topic of love. We asked "hypothetical" questions that leaded to heart aches and such. Ofcourse, we also made them hard problems and kept on asking each other what would we do. Most of our answers was "shit, ewan, mababaliw nalang ako" or "tatawa nalang ako" HAHA. but ofcourse, we had our fair share of good answers :D
drei: oh eto les, what would you do if...let's use names ok? They're not real people anyways, just so we can sort it out.
les: *nods:
d: let's call the guy "Adam" and "Andrew" and the girl "Michi". What if, Michi had a baby with Adam but she's not in a relationship with him. And Andrew is Adam's bestfriend but Michi's husband?
l: fuck, ah. hirap nun! It's hard to know that one of the kids that you're raising now is not yours, but your bestfriends, with your wife's.
d: EXACTLY.
L: how about this one...let's call the guys "Adam" and "Migs" and let's call the girl "Jen". What if, the 3 of them have been bestfriends for like 5 years. And then one afternoon they were talking about love and started blurting out their feelings for one another... Let's say, Migs is inlove with Jen but Jen is inlove with Adam. And let's say after 2 years, Jen learned to love Migs but Adam learned to love Jen? *Which is harder? Forcing yourself to love someone who loves you? Or forcing the person you love to love you? both hard, right? well what if, when you already learned to love the perosn who loves you, the person you love learns to love you too?*
D: mababaliw na ko.
d & l: *laughs*
d: life sucks.
l: *noods in agreement* I AGREE!
l: that's why I believe that beneath the fun, the thrill and the excitement life can bring, life can be totally depressing.
d: hey! I like that!
d & l: *laughs*
SHITTTTT, reality bites.
**
There's this guy...he keeps on hurting me over and over again...but i love him....
-Ethan Hawke, Reality Bites.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
HIYES NAMAN ÖöÖÜüÜ ahahah. labo ah! dami smileys... jologs :D check out
joyce's new blog! ahaha andun ako sa "credits".. ahaha... "inspiration" daw! POTAH. AHAAHAH! HURRAH!!! kelet, tsong. like i said, jologs ;p
Anyways, school's getting better :D it has its ups and downs specially since projects and shit are crammed. AWW. procrastinism... tsktsk...
[]Ben is a little weird... haha, pero i still love that dude :D [dba, jc? dba, ben? mahal ko kayo, diba?] ahaha.
[]JC has the likings for ******** *********... (:
[]Jhay-Be knows...as in she knows... argh...ok lang... kasama sha sa chicks ko eh *wink* ;p
[]Maria is obsessed with eca. [extra curricular activities]
[]Migs is one of my bestest friends ö [he's nice! i promise! haha, just as long as you're his friend :D]
[]Hector is as nice as one can get
[]David is always, uhm... haha. basta!
[]Lance is as funny as hell
[HOLD THAT, THOSE THREE AMIGOS OF MINE ARE FUNNY AS HELL!]
[]Camille is so over our claretian friends
[]Kei is into Pao like hell and Amrit is killing her w/o knowing
[]Dio is the person i want to be with most of the time );
[]Chard and My brother are close
[]Patrick, i miss );
[]Queeny, my thisthurinthismisü
[]Calvin is obsessed as ever.
[]Anton, i dont see often );
[]Darel. i dont see often );
[]L13 is good.
[]tropang pasaway is falling apart...
[]John is in a fight with niko...
[]SAM IS A NAME I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR. AND SO IS WILLIAM. THAT DUDE IS BUT A DISTANT MEMORY TO ME AND I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT HIM.
yes yes yes. (: Those are the people i love... kudos to them :D
[]Quiz tomorrow in english.[/]
[]Quiz tomorrow in math.[/]
[]2 Journals submitted for Filipino.
[]Homework for Science [/]
[]Notes and shit for rhgp.
[]Stick for tomorrow to be given to Emil.
[]news paper clippings. [/]
Ok, so i still need to do a little more stuff... HM, but, in fairness, i lost my homeroom notebook and journal! so im still gonna buy one tomorrow before class starts and THEN start making my journal entries.
[]Math is EXCELLENT
[]English is EXCELLENT
[]History is EXCELLENT
[]Filipino is good
[]V.E. is sucky but tolerable
[]L.T. rocks! ö
[]Food Tech is ok.
[]P.E. is ok
[]Science is so hard. Though its ok...My teacher just hates me.
AHHH, fuck. i gotta go do the other stuff on my to do list :/
Sayonara!
*boomVANISHboom*
Monday, July 26, 2004
Dad got back from the states just earlier today (: *weeee*
I got a lot of stuff...im happy pero its ok if i didnt get it as well. its all good. HAHA.
[]diskman
[]headphones
[]towel [weirrdd. haha]
[]3 shirts :D
[]jeans :p
etc. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, my brother is mad na. i'll blog back later (:
Thursday, July 22, 2004
an labo oh...
*LYRICS NG ITSUMO
-uh...ok...
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
I envy
gine she gets to blog everyday ):
Anyways, school was ok...better than yesterday...
SHIFT TOPICS
Have you ever felt like everyone looks up to you or thinks that you're such a wise and smart and mature person that you can do no harm or wrong? Like they expect you to be a role model? to be a strong person? to be smart enough to not do wrong things? Well, this is how i feel... Each and every single day, My parents, siblings and teachers see me as a person who is strong and wise beyong my years...They expect me to be as wise or wiser than them. They give me criticism which i have learned to not let bother me, but ofcourse, i cannot ignore the fact that deep inside of me i am still a kid. a child. a person who can not tell wrong or good. I still am a vulnerable kid who goes to her room and cries her heart out and does the same thing every time she gets hurt. Im still the kid who writes stories, poems, songs, books, novels and such and has no guts to show them to people. Im still that kid. Im still afraid of rejection, though i have learned to control my emotions. I have learned to hide the tears and the pain. I still am that little kid who looks up to super heroes. I am still that kid who keeps on omitting mistakes.
If you can't accept that, im sorry.
"...People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child... "
Monday, July 19, 2004
SATURDAY was actually fun. i appllaud myself for that (:
Saturday:
COCC TRAINING! woohoo. it was tough, but ok (: i like the feeling of i might be an officer now... anyways, i went to ob at 8a and they already started training "maam permission to join the ranks, maam" ahaha. "move" WOOHOO. i got demerits though ); anton and calvin were with me, watching us, LAUGHING. haha [i love those two like hell *smirk*] anyways, we had to drink from an "absolute" water bottle that was half filled, we had to share the bottle and still have some left for the last cadet. HALO-HALO NA LAWAY NAMIN. WE'RE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY. pfft. ahaha. training finished at 12 (;
We went to Valle [note: after petty fights ofcourse...] and i fianlly got to convince cal to go. We stayed at tz for awhile while waiting for our ride to arrive. At around 2 our ride arrived so we went to vvcc to drop calvin, darrel, kim, nikko, linus,ben,john [basta ö sila sila!] we fetched sam at his house and uhh, iono. It was awkward....We soon followed to vvcc we got there around 2:30 so we swam right away (: HAHA. kim, me, maria, linus and sam were the only ones who swam.. [kj kasi si darrel!] anyways, the others just ate and played pool. I was finding the company of linus, kim, maria awkward with sam there so i decided to go solo...ofcourse, no one noticed until ben told them (: [oo ben, mahal kita! *kiss*] So yeah..i was kind of uh...reminiscing until a BIG SOMEBODY tried to drown me and tickle me [you, fucker...yes sam that was you ;p] After swimming and stuff we ate. Kuya big and anton followed (: [note: anton was burning with fever, my god!] so after a couple of petty fights between sam and myself we started playing games... PPPPPFFFFFFTTTTTT, i was annoyed so i went off by myself... luckily calvin and darrel followed (: WE STARTED SINGING AND DANCING SA POOL. haha. around 8p vivo, noel, clark and chaz followed... we talked for awhile, inuman and yun..the likes (:
At around 930p we headed back to U.B. heh, it wus fun (: but maria was tired so we had to go already... we wanted to walk so that we could just chat and have some time..BESTFRIEND TIME,. but those idiotic fools [oops, i mean gentlemen] wanted to escort us so we walked from ub to megamall (: they went home at around 1 and maria wanted to sleep badly... at around 130a ricardo went home...i was excited, ofcourse (: then he told me... "essa, yun mga boys mo, ai kaibigan mo pala na boys pinuntahan ka dito oh..." i was like "hah?" sabi nya "yun kapatid ni borres, si vincent at yun isa pa" i just said with a big smile "ahh, talaga? SHIT, stig." i woke maria up and told her i was gon go down, she didnt want me to go down alone so she accompanied me. While maria was fixing up i was talking to ricardo and he simply said with a small grin "gs2 mo sila paakyatin dito?" i was like wtf?! "wag na wag na noh! kakahiya..." tas he smiled...shit KILIG. i drank water and he asked me "alessa, gusto mo? hotdog? bacon?" i was like "hah? ah cgecge..." SHIT KILIG TO THE MAX MAN. ahahaha. i was about to go ahead of maria and he told me "sandali...dyan ka lang..." i stood beside him and he put up the phone connected to the guardhouse and said "sabihin mo dyan sa mga drug addik na yan pababa na si essa" HAHA. i burst out laughin (: he laughed as well. ahaha. shit, kilig dude! so yun...i headed down and to my surprise was them (: mes amis! WOOHOO, i love them like hell. :D they went home at 4a already and maria was fast asleep when they did...
SO OVERALL, I NEEDED SATURDAY.
sunday:
wasted shit, dude, haha. slept the whole day
monday:
uh, so-so :D
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Everyone's at school and im at home ): ARGH. i hate being sick *except ofcourse if my friends arent gon go to school. THEN I CAN PLAY SICK* haha. but its our dale today ): and i love dale's. AH FUCK. i wanna dale "si maria ay may alagang tupa" pa naman. PAKCERs. plu also in english.. "the duke of york" and "the chocolate factory..." i didn't get to see everyone's dale tuloy! ahhh. FUCK. that's all i can say. pft, im out.
Monday, July 12, 2004
xhit. everyones in love. fuckersfuckersfuckers. why can't we all just have fun being a kid? i know i don't wanna grow up (: [ay, feeler! haha. may love naman..labo dude!]
"this is who i am and this is what i like...
gc, sum and blink and mxpx rockin my room...
if you're looking for me i'll be at the show...
i will never find another place to go...
until the day i die...
i promise i won't change...
so you better give up...
cause i don't wanna be told to grow up."
yup.
"im just a kid and life is a nightmare." pero i dont wanna grow up? lab0. *w00t*
my school thing blog.
[]woke up at 8a. [shit! good thing i wasnt fucking late!]
[]got to school 8:35a - food tech lec. - drill sheets
[]math started at 9:30a - quiz [perfect!ü]
[]snacks from 10:30 to 11. - hang around with sila darrel.
[]computer started at 11 - no teacher for 45 minutes (: - mr.fabi arrived at 11:45a and my classmates DROOLED over him [im not into chinitos! HAHA. bleh ;p] - ms.celestino arrived at 12 - seatwork [i think i failed...or borderline of passing :/]
[]lunch at 1 til 1:30p [we eat with the jrs and srs every monday. fackastigas.]
[]got my permanent id during homeroom at 1:30 til 2:00 (:
[]Leadership training [L.T.] from 3-4 - we shined our buckles - suffered - suffered more - squatted fucking long [though sir dela pena rocks! ]
[]dismissed at 4.
phew. my fukingly boring schedule:/
Sunday, July 11, 2004
WOW...my week's been kinda hectic. i miss gradeschool. i miss kate. i miss g-g-g-ina even more. i miss everyone i dont get to see that much ); ohhh, i miss *** haha. obviously.
anyways, everyones having all these problemss these days (including
ME) sheeesh dude, harsh. Everyones a little pre-occupied with their shit. I can't really blog right now cause im on the phone. (with sam, and yes. HAHA. we're just kidding with each other again!) and i don't wanna make this blog long with nonsense.
oh, and ftr.
WE LOVE TWISTED (the song, that is, for me (: *evil laugh*)
ohhh, another sad sad sad story ):
GIRL = let's call her Jen
GUY = let's call him Migs
ONE NiGHT: they were talking on the phone
about the perennial topic
of
getting-to-know-each-other-better-and-better
pairs, LOVE LIFE.
Migs was using the cordless one.
Suddenly,brown out. So he texted Jen this:
(not in the abbreviated
form)
"Hey sorry! Nagbrown out here. Sayang, I
really wanted to talk to you
pa.
You're really a breath of fresh air you know
that? Nga pala. Thanx
for
being you. La lang. You're something I need to
make me whole. Corny,
pero
totoo. Haay,mis you na agad! I'll see you tom.
Lovekita, friend ko..
:-( "
Jen: (puzzled) why kya may sad face?Pero kilig
ako! hehehe.Kaso, bad
mag-assume. Sad kya siya dahil friends lang
kami?Or sad lang talaga
siya
today? Kilig-ed to the max, Jen saved that
message sa phone nya. And
she
was left thinking whether what she feels is
reciprocated or not.
TWO YEARS LATER: sobrang close pa rin
sila...THE MESSAGE WAS STILL ON
HER
PHONE. They went out a couple of times,
calling their date "company
dates"
whenever they make kwento to people to avoid
awkwardness.
LAST DAY OF CLASSES BEFORE SUMMER THAT SCHOOL
YR.
LOCATION: Sunken garden, UP Diliman campus
(mmm* my UP student kyang
gnto
ka-conio?! Lalng*-dins)
SETTING: sunset, ganda (daw) ng clouds,
perfect setting sa mga
mag-aaminan.
MIGS: Jen, I have to tell you something.
JEN: (thinking: THIS IS IT!) Yeah?
MIGS: Uh..(fidgets) you know how close we are?
I just wanna thank
you.
Sobrang angel kita. You know that nman right?
JEN: (thinking: AAHHH! Kilig!) Corny! hehe.
Pero yeah, you know din
nman
na you're my angel right?
MIGS: (blushing) uhh..yeah. (fidgets again)
can we hug?
JEN: (blushing, feeling awkward) o, why? You
have a problem ba?
MIGS: (hugging her) No naman. Just happy. -
finished na yung hug-
JEN: aww..me too. Feels right to be with you
now.
MIGS: likewise (biglang tumulo ang tears of
joy) Kainis, I'm getting
emotional again. Sorry.(wipes tears)
JEN and MIGS: (sabay) May--
JEN: You first.
MIGS:uhh...hehe..teka. Hirap sabihin. Borrow
nlang ng phone.
JEN: (Surprised, panicked) h-hah? w-wait lang.
Since naka-save pa yung message ni Migs above
(FOR 2 FRIGGIN' YEARS)
and
walang confirmed mutual understanding, Jen
erased it para Migs
wouldn't
know...but it was hard for her to erase the
prized and oldest text
message
na yun sa phone niya.
MIGS: (typed something sa cellphone)
Uhh..here. Thanks for being
supportive ha?
JEN: (read the message) Aww. Omigosh. Heh.
Really?
MIGS: yeah. you ok?
JEN: (nods, crying) can I just hug you?
MIGS: (hugs her) Why are you crying? Mad ka
ba? Ayaw mo ba?
JEN: la lang. I'm just happy...really, I am.
MIGS: Aww...love mo ko talaga! Tama talaga
timpla natin! I'm happy
too.
Nasabi ko na ba na mahal kita? (to the nape
and back ang smile)
JEN: (crying pa rin) Ngayon lang Migs...ngayon
lang.
you know what Migs wrote? eto (not in the
abbreviated form):
"May girlfriend na ko. SHE'S a BREATH OF FRESH
AIR,
you'd like her. Sori I didn't tell you about
her.
You'll understand, dba angel? Kaw pa, love mo
ko eh,
hehehe. First time ko lang sasabihin ito. I
was in
love with you for the past 2 years. Pero alam
ko, it
can never be. I value our friendship so much, I
couldn'e risk losing you kahit mahal kita. i
love you
bestfriend..." [BÜLL$Y3T]
...sayang.......talagang sayang.....
did it bring you to tears..? it did to me. so if you have nothing more to do but laugh, get the fuck out of my blog. anyways, i love those stories... they're really sad..but it just gives you faith (: its like a fairy tale turned reality. *sigh* haaay nako. Im such a drama queen!
WOW check my hunky hubby's are (:
HOTT!! :D ito pah,
DROOL WORTHY MEN. pfft, dreamer (wanna amp!)
HAHA. laugh (: *evil laugh* HAHA. im such a witch!
HAHA, FUCK TRIP
im lovin it :p ^
HAHA fools [down under.]
[ft. [beeeelow]
hurhurhur
ah, im through. pft. haha
Thursday, July 08, 2004
some random stories some guy sent me on the net...
"Kakauwi ko lang from school. Pag uwi
sobrang
pagod. Binaba ko bag ko
at nahiga sa sofa. Sarap ng pakiramdam ng
mapahinga. Matagal akong
nakahiga nang di ko namalayan na nakakatulog na
pala ko. Biglang nagvibrate
ang celfon ko. I checked kung sino. I opened my
inbox---
"minsan akala mo nasasayo na ang lahat
pagnasayo na ang taong mahal mo.
Pro lahat na nga ba?
<
Gano ka kasigurado na iyo na sya
Habang buhay? Kaya ngyn plng alagaan m n
Habang nandyan pa!"
Sender:
BaBy koW
It's a usual quote coming from my
girlfriend. Dahil sa antok
ko, di ko na nireplyan. Again my cell vibrated.
1
message received---
"nVr hold in2 smtnG too TyT..
Cz smWer N d MiddLe U
MyT Lus heR. Dnt put UrseLf in2
smTng U knW U cnT Let
Go.."
Sender:
Ba By koW
Naku naman pagod na pagod ako so tinuloy
ko na ang pagtulog ko.
Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sense ng message
niya dahil sa antok so
pano pa ko magrereply? Again nagvibrate nanaman
pero di ko n pinansin pro
ayan nanaman. 2 messages
received---
First message:
"I jst wnt u to knw dt I love u & evn
God takes me away from you
It wont change.You own my heart
Till d very last breath il take."
Sender:
BaBy
koW
Pinatay ko na ang cell ko ng hindi
binabasa ang isa pang
message. Kaya natulog na lang ako ulit.
Paggising
ko wala na kong battery so
I charged my cell and I tried calling her with
my
landline. I tried 5x
kakatawag pero wala talagang sumasagot. After 30
minutes my landline
rang. Sister ni Maila(baby kow), so I asked her
"bakit walang tao sa bahay niyo?"
Di siya sumagot.Umiiyak siya. So I asked:
"bakit? Ano
nangyari?"
Biglang may naghello, ang dad nila ni Maila
pala,
so I asked
"Tito ano po
nangyayari?"
Sinabi niya sakin ng walang pagaalinlangan---
"Umalis kami nanood kami ng sine. Nagpaiwan si
Maila dahil ang sabi
niya pupunta ka daw dito sa bahay. Hihintayin ka
daw niya. Dahil sa sinabi
niya iniwan namin siya....."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni tito. Ngayon ko lang
naalala na pupuntahan ko
nga pala siya. Hindi ako nakapagsalita dahil
bigla na akong kinabahan.
Tinuloy ni tito ang pagsasalita---
"pagdating namin nakita nalang namin siya na
patay na. Sinaksak siya ng
mga nanloob sa bahay namin. Wala na siya."
Nagblanko ang paningin ko pati na rin ang
pagiisip ko.
"Di ka kasi pumunta. Inuna mo ang kung anu anong
mga bagay.Di mo man
lang siya naisip."
Di ko alam kung sino ang nagsasalita konsensya
ko
ba to o ang daddy
niya?! Do ko na alam ang nangyayari
sakin.
P******** nawala na sakin ang mahal ko!!!!
Di ko alam kung sa anong dahilan pero binuksan
ko
ang cellphone ko na 5
oras na plang nakacharge. Ang message nya na
hindi ko binasa nandun pa
rin. Hindi ko alam kung bubuksan ko pa o hindi
but still binuksan ko na
rin---
"B TULNGAN M KO
PAPATAYN NLA KO!!!"
Sender:
BaBy
koW
Di ako makapunta sa bahay nila dahil sa hiya. Di
ko man lang madalaw
siya dahil di ko matanggap sa sarili ko na
makikta ko siyang nakahiga na.
Di ko maisip na wala na ang taong pinakamamahal
ko. Di ko matanggap na
ng dahil sakin kaya nagkaganon siya. Ano pang
silbi ng mga sinabi ko
skanya noon na hindinghindi ko siya iiwan......
Na hindi ko siya pababayaan..
na hinding hindi siya magiisa...
Ano na nangyari sa mga sinabi ko
sakanya??...
Wala na siya....
Wala na ang taong bumuo ng buhay
ko...
Wala
na....
**** I want to make things right in my life..but how? I don't have anyone to take care of...i don't even have anyone to care for me... I GIVE UP ....
CUT
Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun with their beloved half.
Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.
Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now. (both sigh n silence for a while)
Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a game
Peter: Eh? What game?
Tina: Eem..It's quite simple. You be my boyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100 days. what do you think?
Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don't have any plan for the next few months.
Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward to it at all. Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?
Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.
Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Lets move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)
Day 2:
Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and Peter bought Tina a keychain with a star.
Day 3:
They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.
Day 7:
Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.
Day 25:
Spend time at a themepark and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted house and Tina grabbed someone's hand instead of Peter's hand by accident. They laughed together for a while.
Day 67:
They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she just said "Treasure every moment from now on" and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.
Day 84:
Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.
Day 99:
They decided to have a simple day and is deciding to have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.
1:23 pm
Tina: I'm thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?
Tina: Eem...Apple juice will be just fine.
1:43 pm
Tina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.
Stranger: Is your name Tina?
Tina: Yes, and may I help you?
Stranger: Justnow down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.
Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter.
Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.
11:51 pm
Doctor: I'm sorry, but we did the best we could. He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.
The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears. Here is what the letter said.
Tina, our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend
forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.
11:58
Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back to me now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.
As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.
CUT
its been 4 months since i saw him and talagang
namimiss ko na siya... pero what can i do? it
seems that i have loved the wrong person.... but
still the pain keeps on hurting me and kung
walang magbibigay ng gamot para dito sa
nararamdaman ko.... baka mamatay na ako....
to give you a background about my life, everthing
seems to be fine except dun sa time na dumating
na sa buhay ko yung hinayupak na lalake na
yon.... hehehehe.... kung curious kayo about dun
sa guy... bestfriend ko po yon kaso lang iba na
ang nangyari as time passes by.....
classmate ko sya nung highschool. pards pa nga
ang tawagan namen.... o db ang sweet? di na ako
iba sa kanya and ganon na ren sya sa aken....
kung di nga lang ako naging babae baka naiuwi na
ako nun sa bahay nila and baka lahat ng gawaing
pang brusko eh ipagawa na nun sa ken eh..... pero
cyempre mukha pa ren naman akong babae noh!!
highskul cyempre may prom.... wala cyang date,
wla ren ako.... i know that he wanted to invite
me to be his date pero ang ogag nga kasi nun kaya
the last minute tsaka lang sya nag-ask. he went
to our house... nakamotor po sya and medyo
pawisan pero infairness.... mabango pa ren....
he ask my permission to see my dress for the
prom.... cyempre para maloka sya sa aken at may
konting surprise... i refuse.... o sige, medyo na
frustrate sya pero hindi yon naging hadlang para
invite nya ko.... sa ganda ko na to..... cyempre
ang dami munang pa-echeng.... hanggang sa
tanungin nya ako kung may date na ba me.... e
kung di ba naman siya abnormal eh.... papayag ba
akong makipagdate sa iba eh sya lang ang gusto
ko.... lam mo yon... sarap sampalin.... so in
short, papilit pa ba ako? syempre.....
the night of my life came, i was so pretty sabi
ng nang-uuto kong nanay... pero naniwala lang ako
nang sya na ang nagsabi.... blush ako ever....
kahit alam kong maganda ako since birth(hehehehe)
iba pa ren yung sa kanya galing diba?
we enjoyed that night and lalo ko lang
napatunayan sa sarili ko na mahal ko na pala ang
hinayupak na bestfrend ko......
syempre ano pa ba ang sunod na event sa prom
kundi ang graduation na db? the night before the
graduation, we talked on the phone na para bang
it would be the last time na maririnig namen ang
boses ng isat-isa..... ive waited for the moment
na mabanggit nya na may feelings din sya and
hindi naman ako nagkamali.... tinanong nya ako
kung may possibilty daw na maging kame.... i know
na maiinis kayo sa ken dahil alam nyo ba ang
sagot ko? ah, eh.... hindi pwede kase bestfrends
tayo eh.... yung mga anak na lang naten yung
ipag-
partner naten.... sa isip-isip ko.... ang tanga!
pano ko nasabi ang ganong words? pero wala na
akong magagawa..... alangan namang bawiin ko pa
eh
di nahuli naman ako db? pero ang tanga ko
talga....
cyempre college na.... im so proud to say na
napunta naman ako sa magandang school and take
note... pareho kame ng skul..... ano to?
kailangan bang ituloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan
namen?.... hehehe....
nagkaboyfriend ako for a year and a half....
minahal ko sya pero there are these conflicts and
problems na di na kayang ayusin.... in short....
nagbreak kame.....
i guess god meant that to happen kasi yon din
yung time na nagkita kame ng bestfrend ko..... sa
sobrang miss namen ang isa't-isa.... sabay na
kameng umuwi, kumain, pumasok..... im happy pero
parang lalo ko lang pinahirapan ang sarili ko
dahil my feelings for that guy grows each and
everytime that we are together... buti na lang
magaling akong magtago at magpigil.... hehehe....
bilib kayo noh?.....
one morning, im so busy preparing my project that
would be pass on that same day.... alam kong
dumating na sya at nasa likuran ko na ang mokong
pero dahil sobrang pressure sa project.... gusto
ko man syang dambahan... cyempre mamayang gabi na
lang di ba? hehehe.... di ko sya masyadong
napansin.....
may inabot syang sulat sa aken and he asked if i
could join him sa lunch.... i said yes.... then,
alis na cya.... alam naman kc nyang im busy.....
when i was about to enter the room, somebody
bumped me and my precious project fell... gusto
ko mang magalet... what can i do db? instead i
ask my prof to give me another chance to do my
project.... naalala ko si mokong.... the lunch
date.... kinuha ko ang cell ko to text him that i
cant come to our meeting.... e kaso.... pag
tinamaan k nga naman ng malas.... check operator
service daw.... i tried to look for friends or
other kakilala pero malas that day talaga....
and so i took my lunch all by my self.... naalala
ko yung letter.... hinanap ko sa bag... WALA !!!!
bumalik me sa corridor praying na andon pa yung
sulat.... wala ren.... god! why? minsan lang
magbigay ng sulat yon.... nawala pa.... dont know
how to tell him about the letter....
and so days and weeks passed, pag nagkikita
kame... di nya ako pinapansin... ako, i tried to
talk to him pero alam kong may kasalanan ako pero
ganon ba kalaki ang nagawa kong di pagpunta at
ganon na lang ang iwas nya?... sige... hinayaan
ko na lang....
months na ang binilang... i heard that he was
dating a girl from the same school that we are
in... masakit.... na sa iba ko pa narinig na sila
na.... mas masakit na wala na akong halaga sa
kanya.....
basta... ilang araw din yon na ganon ang
nararamdaman ko.... weeks.... months....
gagraduate na po ako.... i wonder what's instore
for me in my last day in school.... and so i
thought na puntahan yung favorite hang out
namen.... when i was about to get near the
place.... i saw him... with the girl.... umiiyak
ang bruha but i cant hear what they are talking
about.... so ive decided to get out of that place
before my tears burst out.... and then a common
frend ang sumalubong sa aken.... saying na buntis
ang girl.... syempre.... durog na durog ang puso
ko.... kung kaya nyo lang ma-imagine yung
naramdaman ko.....
the night of that same day.... naloka ang lola
nyo.... nagparamdam ang mokong pagkaraan ng
pagkatagal-tagal na panahon... i thought it was
something good for me... for us.... pero i was
wrong.... so wrong..... he gave me a wedding
invitation and isa ako sa bridesmaids..... the
girl... she was waiting in the car.... o db? dati
motor lang ngaun... car na....
and so the wedding came.... maganda po ako
nun.... sabi ng nanay ko pero wala ng nagsecond
the motion eh.... so naniwala na lang ako sa
nanay ko.... then, there was this professor who
c ame to see me.... he handed over a letter with
my name carefully printed on the enveloped.... he
said that he looked for the owner of that letter
kaso lang po malaki po ang skul namin kaya
mahirap magkahanapan db? and so nung nakita nya
ang name ko sa invitation, he decided to bring
the letter thinking that it could save souls...
daw....
and so i was about to open the letter when the
priest ask kung sino daw ang tututol... dedma
ako.... alangan namang manggulo pa ko noh....
binasa ko na ang letter..... nakakatouch po
talaga.... he opened up his feelings for me....
hoping na meron din daw akong feelings for
him.... he ask that if i will show up to our
hang-
out the next day after he gave his letter, then
it means that i also have feelings for him and
that he would love me for the rest of our
lives.... but if i wont.... then he will never
open that topic again.... he pleaded to me na
sana pumunta ako... ...
if only i have that letter.... if only i knew
about it.... kung di lang ako clumsy and carelss
to keep that letter... things would be
diffrent.... if only.....
and so i heard the priest announced the couple as
husband and wife.... ang sakit......
picture taking..... gusto mang sumabog ng
nararamdaman ko.... as you know.... magaling
akong magpigil.... pero masakit po talaga....
sobra......
after the picture taking...... niyakap ako ng
bestfrend ko.... ang higpit.... and teary eyed
nyang cnabi na....
i still love you.......
Wow, school's all...iono...blah, i guess. PFTTTTTTTTT.
I was talking to mi amigos (guy friends) earlier...we were just kidding around and around and arounnnnnnndddddd....BAM, it hit me. Dio headed down the stairs and he was staring at me..WTF?! i hesitated. haha! Then i saw bruice, sam's cousin, we asked if he really was sam's cousin and his reply made me laugh so hard "oo, bakla yun!" HAHA! ahh so ayus. haha, ala lang. it just made me laugh...BTW! i found something out! Ben's family owns NIKE pala! WOW, talk about super rich! haha! no wonder he always asks me if i want to eat, libra nya daw ako. HAHA ofcourse, i refuse.
As i was in class today, we had a dale carnegie, it was "an incident that taught me a lesson" I wasn't really paying attention to my classmates because i was reading "angels and demons" by dan brown. As my name was called, everybody stopped what they were doing and turned to me (i was the black sheep of the class so everyone wanted to hear what i had to say). I couldn't think of anything else to say except for a big memory that has scarred my brain. Thinking of nothing but my grade and that memory, i started telling the story, how my life got screwed and how i started to hate everything and how i shut people out. Everyone was listening and no one was talking but I (which is weird since they never shut their mouths). I couldn't stop talking and the pwords that were coming out of my mouth made it inevitable for my eyes to fill with tears. I stopped and just sat down and their were minutes of awkward silence. My teacher talked to me after class and gave me some advice. (you're the best talaga, ms salayog!)
That topic made me think, everyday on our way home from school i either sleep or read a book and i always seem to get fictions and dreams mixed with reality. So everytime my mind gets cloudy i instantly turn my thoughts into wirds and put them into writing. (im not gonna blog them, simply cause i dont show them to anyone at all, not even maria.). And it always makes me smile that at my pocket you'll always find my "guitar" notebook and pen whihch has doodles of tabs all over :D pftttttt, im such a kid! Anyways, i always seem to want to show them to everyone but im afraid of maybe stating too much about them and showing it to them. (names ofcourse are not mentioned, its just poems about CERTAIN people...)
Deep inside of me there's a cry of a vulnerable little girl who craves for nothing more but to be accepted for who she is and who she wants to be...
help her out, would you?
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
I made some pretty *ouch* quotes today...well..me and my
brother...he did this one
"he who loves, is the one who is loved the most"
he made that statement...i was just the one who quoted it. (:
and i made these:
"in the middle of the pain you feel because of the thorns that are constantly pricking you...the rose blossoms thanks to the water..."
do you get it..?
look beyond the surface...
it symbolises us...not "rose" and thorns necessarily... like....
thorns-problems
rose-us
water-friends
it just means that we need our friends more than we ever know...we need to lean on them...they help us grow....
so yeah...
"pain is inevitable...suffering is optional..." (my sister's friend made that)
which is true... we cannot avoid or hide or shield ourselves from pain..but it is up to us if we want to suffer...
"there is no hate without love..." (i made that one)
you can never hate a person if it wasnt for love...
"there is no happiness without pain..."
do you agree with me on this one..?
SHIFT TOPICS
school is still hard... and everyone still hates me...no one cares...pffttt...im tired... so tired...and im just 13....
SHIFT TOPICS ULIT
sam's having a hard time sobra... i don't know what to do or what to say...
I think everyone agrees in this one.
SCREW THE WORLD
one word...
WHY?
just like
ivy );
Friday, July 02, 2004
FOR SAM SAM SAM (:
-itsumo-dice and knine-
Juz' call me 1st born
You're my 1st love
You're my 1st kiss from up above
And I don't care if you don't give love back
Coz' n my heart is where your ass is at
I love your eyes , your nose & your tender lips
Wanna kiss your neck, your shoulders to your finger tips
I go crazy when you shake those sexy hips
Baby girl you're the 1 I can't resist
You know I love you from the very start
I don't care if you break my heart
I'm the man & I'm here for you
Believe me coz' my love is true
(Chorus: Sashi)
Itsumo kokoro e hoshi itsuka
Dareka to mata koi ne uchitemo
Itsumo kokoro ne iro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara
(K9)
You wanna get down with k-n-i-n-e
Make sure that's pure l-o-v-e
Never talk about the i-c-e
Coz' I only got my h-e-a-r-t for y-o-u
I can't pay the bills for dinner
I juz' give them my IOU
For sure, I'm not after f-u-c-k
Got no b-a-d intentions don't wanna play girl
Maybe we might spot a UFO
Wait that's not part of the rhyme juz' felt like sayin' so
You gotta know that I love from the start till f-o-r-e-v-e-r
(Chorus: Sashi)
Itsumo kokoro e hoshi itsuka
Dareka to mata koi ne uchitemo
Itsumo kokoro ne iro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara
(Dice)
Baby girl be my 1st lady
Be the mom of my 1st baby
You didn't like me when you 1st show me
I'll be gentle I'll do it slowly
(K9)
Girl, I think it's better if you was with me
I got doe coz' I juz' won the spelling bee
For you, I got all the t-i-m-e
Ask mommies to pass but I'm not so sure
Juz' doin' my on thing
****s more expensive than your fancy gold rings
I don't mean dissin' coz' I gots to go there
Mommies don't care
All for them ladies, even chicks with nose rings
(Chorus: Sashi)
Itsumo kokoro e hoshi itsuka
Dareka to mata koi ne uchitemo
Itsumo kokoro ne iro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara
Itsumo kokoro e hoshi itsuka
Dareka to mata koi ne utchitemo
Itsumo kokoro ne iro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara
"Itsumo" means "Always"
-twisted-keith sweat-
Aw yea baby, you got to make your mind up
yea...kut klose help me out
You know you are my lover(you know are my lover baby)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted over you)
I know I got what you need(I got what you need right here baby)
So what you wanna do(yea here we go)
Baby baby I know, baby I love you so
But you don't feel like I do
Tell me what can I do
But I gotta be strong,(but I gotta be strong) did me wrong(girl you did me wrong)
When I thought we were really down(I know we were down)
So you say you want me(I know you say you want me girl)
Make up your mind(oo make up your mind)
Cause I'm not gonna be here for long(I'm not gonna be here for long)
You know you are my lover(you know are my lover baby)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted over you)
I know I got what you need(I got what you need right here baby)
So what you wanna do(o baby)
Maybe baby in time
Baby I know your fine
Now what you needed was here
Think about it my dear
But I gotta be strong,(but I gotta be strong) did me wrong(girl you did me wrong)
When I thought we were really down(i thought we were sound)
So you say you want me(never say you want me gurl)
Make up your mind(oo make up your mind)
Cause I'm not gonna be here for long(I'm not gonna be here for long)
You know you are my lover(you know are my lover baby)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted baby)
I know I got what you need(I got everything you need tonight)
So what you wanna do
uh uh uh uh uhhhhhh my love
You know you are my lover(you know are my lover baby)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted baby)
I know I got what you need(I got everything you need tonight)
So what you wanna do(what are you gonna do baby)
You know you are my lover(you know, you know you want this loving baby)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted baby)
I know I got what you need(I got everything you need tonight)
So what you wanna do(what are you gonna do baby)
You know you are my lover(you know, you know you want this love of mine)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted baby)
I know I got what you need(I got everything you need tonight)
So what you wanna do(what are you gonna do baby)
You know you are my lover(see girl, you got my love wide open baby)
You got me twisted over you(girl you got me twisted baby)
I know I got what you need(I got everything you need tonight)
So what you wanna do(what are you gonna do, tell me baby)
You know you are my lover(you know, you want this love of mine)
You got me twisted over you(baby baby yes you do)
I know I got what you need(I got everything you need)
So what you wanna do(what are you gonna do baby)
-sukiyaki (its all because of you)-4 pm-
It's all because of you, I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away, now my life is just a rainy day
And I love you so, how much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely
Untouchable memories, seem to keep haunting me
Another love so true
That once turned all my gray skies blue
But you disappeared
Now my eyes are filled with tears
And I'm wishing you were here with me
Soft with love are my thoughts of you
Now that you're gone
I just don't know what to do
If only you were here
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine once again
You'd be mine all mine
But in reality, you and I will never be
'Cause you took your love away from me
Girl, I don't know what I did
To make you leave me
But what I do know
Is that since you've been gone
There's such an emptiness inside
I'm wishing you'd come back to me
If only you were here
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine once again
You'd be mine all mine
But in reality, you and I will never be
'Cause you took your love away from me
Oh, baby, you took your love away from me.
-thank you in advance-boys II men-
Excuse me, I know we just met
But may I have this dance?
Sitting here with a drink in my hand
Your presence I can't ignore
I must admit I like watching you dance
But it seems like I've seen this before
Girl, you look like my first wife
Though I've never been married before
So I kiss your hand and tell you "Thank you"
You turn and ask me what for
For our first kiss, oh, next week
For when we make love, in six weeks
For the ring you wore probably three months from now
For when you said "I do" next March
And for those beautiful children of ours
Yes, I know it might sound strange cuz we just met
But I thank you in advance
(Shawn, help me sing it)
Hi, my name is Shawn
Tell me your name
Although I know the last one
It's funny that we're shaking hands
[Wait a minute, I know this hand]
It's the same hand (I'll hold in front of a minister)
Same hand (when you're havin' my son and his sister)
I don't mean to sound so bold and forward
But I thank you in advance
For our first kiss, oh, next week
For when we make love, in six weeks
For the ring you wore probably three months from now
For when you said "I do" next March
And for those beautiful children of ours
Yes, I know it might sound strange cuz we just met
But I thank you in advance
It's like I came back in time to tell you thank you
You were as beautiful then as you are now
Look in the mirror, there is a picture
Of you and the man you love
For our first kiss, oh, next week
For when we make love, in six weeks
For the ring you wore probably three months from now
For when you said "I do" next March
And for those beautiful children of ours
Yes, I know it might sound strange cuz we just met
But I thank you in advance
For our first kiss, oh, next week
For when we make love, in six weeks
For the ring you wore probably three months from now
For when you said "I do" next March(?)
And for those beautiful children of ours
Yes, I know it might sound strange cuz we just met
But I thank you in advance
I, I, I, I, I
I thank you in advance, ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Itsumo kokoro we hoshi itstuka
Dare katu mata koi nei utchitimu
Itsumo kokoro nei eiro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara.
-ittsumo, dice and knine
YAY! i actually had fun today, even if sam couldn't come. );
Tambay muna kami after class sa campus. tas we got fetched by drei ng mga 6 na sa ob. we headed to galle, arvin was there na. we got some stuff at starbucks (sarap!!ü) tas ofcourse peechurs peeechurs. I 'll upload later ;p.we watched spiderman2! (ako for the 4th time na!) ü tas we went to theatre. woohoo. HAHA. so yeah, im at ub so its a sgort blog!
-essa,niko,kim,linus,john,wesley,maria,aj,arvin & co.ü
Kate too!
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Its my birthday today.
im miserable.
one of my friends is my miserable.
therefore i sulk with him.
AWWWW...
you're gonna get through this dude..hang on tight..its gonna be one FUCKING hell of a ride. High School's hard, OH WELL. hm...wonder who he is? well, im not gon tell you. it's to embarassing for him... oh well...
Today was ok, im more psyched about tomorrow though. WANNA KNOW SOMETHING? everyone hates me again. school's a wreck and im glad that sam manages to put a smile on my face...
AWW, IONO WHAT TO BLOG. my life's a WRECK. total HAVOC...chaotic bitch....
CHAOTIC BITCH, i am
Later.
